The Death of the Indian Poet November 15, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: Poetry, blues, dark, friends, poem, love, hate, nostalgia, hope, sad, tragedy, funeral, death, fall, separation, lonely, kill, year, time, heal, 365, one, mistake, suicide, wrong, addict, alcohol, bye, deadline, reason, ray, dead indian poet, poet, indian, misunderstood, storyteller, story, lost, won, life, difficult, hard, survive, dirge, gray
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One Year
—————-
one year can teach you alot
one year is all you’ve got
to either save what you won
or to lose it all in one go
one year will show you many colours
of who you thought were winners
one year is what i needed to figure
what is smaller and which is bigger
one year is all it took
for you to have mistook
and now you turn and look
at what for granted you took
one year indeed is how long
it took me to write this song
and it can be a mile long
to remind me of what i did wrong
one year has turned me into an addict
forgive me but i’ve fallen very deep
if you dont pay attention, you’ll be kicked
and from everyone you knew, you’ll be freed
one year passed by rather slowly
not for you but for me really
every single day was a long sad story
now here i am on the hundredth storey
one year passed before i realised
that all the good good guys
to whom i said my final byes
had actually only lied
one year ago i saw her the last time
and it feels funny to know she’s fine
one more year is probably the deadline
for me to return to the starting line
one year has killed the very reason
for which i was trying to reason
my existance, season after season
one year is a big book of lessons
one year is only 365 days
each day stealing some rays
that i thought i would have always
now gray, no matter what anyone says
one year passed and i’ve found myself
i knew all along i was a poet
but one year taught me that
i can only write blues and sad
i guess it was meant to be
one year has indeed killed
the indian poet who already
died one year ago,.. when he lost everything
-dex (15/11/09)
morning glory or morning blues? November 13, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex-did-like.Tags: blues, curious, dreams, glory, green, harmony, hero, hope, imagine, money, morning, Peace, poem, Poetry
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morning blues
———————–
i woke this one morning… against my will.
can’t i stay? can’t i be?
i need time, i thought.
why do we have to get up?
what are we doing to ourselves?
why do we all feel what we are not supposed to feel?
if i could leave… leave all this behind.
if i could be in a place where i needn’t keep count.
if i didn’t have a name and if everyone only smiled and offered.
if i could lay underneath the sun all day
and if noone had anything…
wouldn’t everyone have everything?
if they didn’t know of any wrong…
wouldn’t everyone be right?
take me and do what you please
cuz i am up and awake.
and i will lay again this evening
and i will slip away, drift away…. away i will
to where i can be
where there is no need for order
infact, there is only innocence
where noone has to protect anyone against anything
where heroes would be rather useless
it would be merry
it would be green.
-nik
what i think i’ve earned November 13, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: Poetry, blues, poem, love, nostalgia, tragedy, earn, lonely, deep
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what i’ve earned
———————-
i am the one who is feeling lonely
but i’ll give up the title happily
if i can live with my little family
in which is a lovely little zombie
those who call me the poet
might or might not loathe
the reason of my growth
which is what i sought
u may be the only to really know
who the hell i really am cuz
i sometimes dont even know
who the fuck i even was
maybe later i will try to explain
what i have had in my little brain
all this while when it has rained
‘wanna be with u’ is all i’m sayin’
although you will not know just now
but i know you and i will come around
the day that we hear the silent sound
that they say comes from the profound
i’ve come here to get
not what i can’t forget
and its not very easy to reset
the mind even if u are great
i am the one they call the sad one
but i’ll give up the nickname once
..and for all, if only for once
..and forever, i get what {i think} i’ve earned!
-dex
17/09/09
River… bending without warning October 27, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: blues, calm, complication, friend, give up, love, mystery, nostalgia, Poetry, river, separation, silence, swim, targedy, try, twist, waterfall
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The Bend In The River
—————————-
Think I should give up about now,
if it hasn’t worked each year round.
It almost looked like we’d made it,
but a little early is when we said it.
And now I’ve washed my hands clean,
everbody I know, have known and seen.
Which way was the river flowing back then?
When did it take this turn all of a sudden?
Every morning I stand there with the rest,
but still, I somehow feel like a guest.
The water will fall from a great height,
to unforgiving rocks waiting for the fight.
I dont think I’ve learnt enough about the ways,
cuz I still feel estranged in my own little caves.
After the great battle, there is awkward calmness,
which is when I lamented the loss of my best friend.
Lonely as I am floating on this endless river,
I cant be a lover, if I cant even love her.
So I stabbed the future in the rear,
and laughed at the present with a stare.
Feel free to call me whatever you will,
but I’m gona swim all the way back still.
Even if I dont again see the same faces,
I’ll find that bend and what were its causes.
-dex
27/10/09
caught in the middle of ‘the priest vs the gov’t’ September 30, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: accuse, betrayal, blame, detective, fine, government, hate, hypocricy, jail, poem, Poetry, priest, prison, scam, scandal, sentence, temple
3 comments
THE PRIEST
————–
There’s a priest in the old temple in the valley
he spent his entire life in there, literally.
The government came along and made a desicion
to turn it into a little historical museum.
They did promise the priest a better shrine
but only untill the cameras were nearby.
Last week i walked past the alley between
the broadway theatre and the beat up brasserie.
Some drunk enough to throw him a coin or two
while angry others would provide a kick or two.
I went up to him to ask if i knew him from before
and i did recognize him when he spoke his lore.
The next morning i visited the office of the mayor
but he was busy so i was asked to come again later.
‘Mayor may speak with you a moment’ i said to him
‘Speak fast for i have only but a moment’ he revealed.
He was obviously not to happy to hear about the priest
because he hoped the priest be dead by now at the least.
He sent in a squad of his favourite detectives
to investigate the issue a little professionally.
They concluded that it was illegal for me
to talk to a stranger at night in the alley.
I was fined only twenty thousand dollars in cash
and sentenced a ten year period at the Nash.
Sitting alone surrounded by these four walls
i wonder how and when did i take the fall.
The poor priest is still out there in the streets
with no roof on his head or shoes on his feet.
Maybe thats what they mean when they say
“God helps those who help themselves…”
And maybe they should add to that smart fable
“…and destroys those who try to help others”.
Who shall we blame for this fucking bullshit?
Me, cuz i tried to help a marooned priest?
The priest, who lost everything he ever had?
The stupid people, who pay to enter the altar?
Or the government, who triggered all this,
for a few more bucks to fill their tummies?
-dex
28/09/09
Reach out… September 13, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: acid, beach, beer, blues, disease, fly, freak, friends, fun, game, goa, happy, hope, india, internet, love, memories, name, out, party, poem, Poetry, reach, rhyme, streets, trip
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-dex 11/09
all in all we're just shadows in the sand....
Shine on… September 4, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: believe, betrayal, blues, breakdown, breakup, climb, converstaion, couple, fall, heartbreak, ladder, love, lovers, nostalgia, poems, Poetry, shine, street, telephone
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Shine On
————-
I couldnt hear you on the telephone
your voice was breaking up.
You couldnt breath to stay alive cuz
of all the space I was taking up.
I have never been the same since
I havent been waking up.
I saw it on the streets yesterday
this ladder I’m climbing up.
There is noone who would help me now
I am only breaking down.
There is noone who would understand me
when I am going down.
I climbed quite high on that ladder
but now I’m falling down.
Please excuse me while I tend to myself
I may be feeling down.
I would have asked you to be here
and to stay with me.
I may even have asked you to believe
and to come away with me.
But all that is just words to say
dont want you to get lost with me.
For what it was worth, I must say that I did
enjoy when you sang with me.
How nice it would be to leave everything
behind and just live on.
As easy as u made it sound, I wish I could
also just move on.
The psychiatrist was very ambiguous
when he asked me to carry on.
Well, I think I will just climb up high again
and torch myself to shine on.
The Road to Perdition September 3, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: 1930, bank, bicycle, blues, car, chicago, hitman, mafia, money, new york, perdition, poem, Poetry, robbery, sullivan, underground, winter
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THE WINTER OF 1931
—————————
This is the story of me and Mike Sullivan
back in the winter of nineteen thirty one.
I sold newspapers on my little black cycle
and he walked around with a big black rifle,
I always wondered what kind of job kept him busy
one freezing night i sneaked into the car easy.
When he pulled the trigger, Mr Brown fell on the hard ground
I didn’t know how to react, and i didnt know what i’d found.
Mr Brown never woke up again but they saw me watching
scared and confused but there was no point in running.
When he faced me, i could see the disappointment
in Mike’s eyes, and his lips had no comment.
And it was then that things got thick as hell
the big boss sent in two very commited men.
They were instructed to take the life
along with his boy’s, also of his wife.
He knew that they would return to complete the job
so he left and resigned from his fulltime job.
He held me by the shoulders and warned
that “this house is no more a home”.
That was the last of new york that i ever saw
but Chicago wasn’t any safer i didnt know.
When he faced me, mike saw the tears running down
from my eyes, as he sped away from that damned town.
His contacts in Chicago let him down without regret
so there was but only one thing that was left.
He taught me how to drive a car when i was only thirteen
and together we robbed all of the boss’ accounts clean.
After cleaning out all the bank’s in the North East
we decided to go underground at a house on the East beach.
The hired gun was still strong on our tail
forget and you fail is the name of the game.
Mr Sullivan lay there lifeless with his eyes open still
i grabbed my pistol and filled his body with steel.
People ask me even today, “who was mike sullivan?”
and i just tell them that he was only a good dad…
I still remember him lying on the floor watching me
with his dead eyes, telling me that i was now free.
But it Rained… :( August 26, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex-did-like.Tags: better, blues, coming of age, daddy, eclipse, hope, love, miss, missing, nostalgia, poem, Poetry, rain, shine, soldier, sun, today, war, yesterday
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Wrapped in a polythene,tucked away safe in my mind.
A little goodbye maybe, or just a passing smile.
The birds fly away to the Southern skys searching a home.
A bunch of paper flowers or a little boy left all alone.
Can’t somebady hear me, I’m screaming from so far away.
Morning who will calm u now the evening is eclipsed again.
Well, this life can’t get any better,
More yesterdays than todays.
How I thought the sun would shine tommorow,
But it rained…
They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life.
Its been so long, so long a time but still I miss Daddy at night.
The ache is long gone but it never keeps tearing along.
The waters in the seas are high and all the sand castles have drowned.
Well, this life can’t get any better,
More yesterdays than todays.
How I thought the sun would shine tommorow,
But it rained…
-PARIKRAMA
My wine August 25, 2009
Posted by dexspace in dex's poems.Tags: blues, friend, grapes, heartbreak, love, nostalgia, Poetry, sadness, tragedy, wine
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